Surrender
by nimthriel
Summary: A short one-shot set in Purgatory.


**AN: This is just a quick little one-shot set in Purgatory. It's not super explicit as far as the sex goes, which is uncommon for me, but I didn't feel like SuperPorn would really fit in the story. Let me know what you think! Thanks!**

**It was cold. Freezing actually, but there was no way they could **risk building a fire. The flames, though comforting, would serve as nothing more than a beacon that would lead all manner of nasty things straight to them. As it was, Dean seemed to be the only one affected, he was only human after all, but he refused to acknowledge the fact to those around him. Cas saw it though, it was in the set of his shoulders, the small shiver that would rack his body when the breeze picked up, he frowned. Dean needed rest. This was the third day they had gone with no luck reaching the portal. Purgatory didn't offer many safe places, especially in the Dark, but Cas felt they were relatively safe for the moment and he needed Dean to be able to take full advantage of that. Through his sleepless eyes, Cas blatantly stared at Dean, gut wrenching at the thought of what this human had done, had gone through to find him. It hurt to think of Dean's devotion and the pain in the other's eyes when Cas tried to turn him away. Cas still saw it sometimes when he begged Dean to leave him. It would have been so easy for Cas to just vanish, but the pull of Dean was too strong and he found himself unable to leave him.

As he observed, Dean withdrew further into himself but whether it was to ward himself from the chill air or something else, Castiel could not tell. Dean's body was tensely coiled, even as he leaned against a tree trying to relax, ready to spring into action should so much as a twig snap. His grip tightened around his bone ax and he drew the weapon closer into this chest. Cas knew that gesture, Dean liked to keep his weapons close when he was feeling vulnerable. A shuffling to his right caused Cas to look over and he saw their other companion Benny shift in his sleep, unaffected by the things around him, trusting Castiel to keep a good watch. He flicked his eyes back to Dean. The human had been distracted by Benny's movements and was just coming to relax after realizing that there had been no immediate threat. He leaned back against the trunk of the wide tree and closed his eyes, but it was not restful as far as Cas could tell. There was too much tension in his posture.

Cas frowned as the leaves above them rustled and his hair lifted, moving slightly with the wind now circling them harshly. Cas sighed, he could almost feel the chill in his bones though it did not affect him. To his left, Dean groaned and brought his legs up to rest against his chest. He pulled his arms in, wrapping them around his body, seemingly trying to make himself as small as possible. Castiel stood and moved over to Dean, removing his trench coat as he did so. It was dirty and frayed, but he hoped it would serve as a barrier to keep some of the cold from affecting Dean so greatly. Dean looked up as the heavy material fell around him and Cas knelt next to him, tucking the sides of the coat around Dean's prone form. When Cas looked up from his task, Dean's intense green eyes were staring him down, nothing but appreciation and sadness in them. He didn't thank Cas, he didn't need to, his eyes expressed his gratitude and Cas felt relief as Dean relaxed a little.

"Can you sleep?" he asked and Dean shrugged, snuggling more into Cas' coat. Cas wondered if Dean even realized he did it. "Will you try? We have a long way to travel when Light comes." There was no sun in purgatory, just Light and Dark, and no discernible way to estimate time as it passed so slowly in this damned place. Dean glanced around him and Cas sensed his hesitation. Cas sighed and sat next to him, shifting so that their arms brushed together. When Dean didn't pull away, Cas raised his arm and pulled Dean against him, resting the human's head on his chest. It was a mark of just how worn Dean was that he allowed such close contact. "Sleep Dean, I will watch over you." Cas stated and felt Dean's body calm and the heaviness he felt against his side indicated that Dean trusted him enough to do as he said. Cas turned his head and placed his chin on top of Dean's head, his sharp eyes and ears on red alert, almost daring something to try to interrupt them.

**When Light came, Castiel gently roused Dean, placing** a hand upon the human's shoulder and shaking him lightly. Benny was already up and hunting his own prey and they needed to find suitable nourishment for Dean before starting off again. Castiel waited until Dean's eyes flicked open before he softly pushed him away and stood. Dean rubbed his face and looked over at Benny's vacated spot.

"Benny hunting?" he croaked and Cas knew he needed water.

"Yes. Please stay here. I will return in a moment." Cas spirited himself away, going back to a stream that he knew held clean, safe water. He pulled a makeshift canister out of his pocket and filled it before calling a deer out of hiding. Cas reached out and placed his hand on the doe's head and the animal collapsed dead at Castiel's feet. He spared a moment for the life he took before returning to Dean who was now building a small fire. It wasn't ideal, but it was Light and therefore, safer and Dean needed to eat. Cas dropped the deer next to Dean and looked pointedly at him. Castiel would not mutilate the animal, but he knew Dean was more than capable. Silence fell between them until Benny's return. The vampire took one look at Dean sheering the deer and laughed.

"Who the hell has time for that? We need to leave." He said and Cas turned to glare at him, "Here, eat this." Benny said holding a fish out to Dean. Dean looked over at Cas who hurriedly looked away. Of course a deer would take too much time, more than they had, to prepare. He was only thinking of Dean and how much nourishment he needed. Cas sighed, he was too involved. He was becoming impractical. It would be so much better if he just left, but as soon as Cas thought it, he shook his head. Dean would never stop hunting him. The stubborn mortal would stay in Purgatory for a millennia searching. The only way to get Dean to leave was to pretend that Cas was going with him.

Cas had no intention of leaving Purgatory, portal or otherwise. He would remain here in penance for his actions on Earth and in Heaven. Castiel knew he would be driven insane here, that his ultimate suffering would be brought by Dean's departure, but he was beyond his selfishness now. Castiel could not keep him. Dean did not belong here and Cas would do anything to help him escape. Dean was not his and Castiel knew the time was nearing that he would have to let him go. As much as it grieved him, he had to be set free.

"**We'll rest here for the night." Benny said throwing himself down on the ground in front of a tall tree with a** thick trunk. Castiel surveyed the area, reaching out with his grace before agreeing that this place would be as safe as any other for the Dark. Benny nodded and stood before heading for the line of trees. "I'm going to go hunt." He said by way of explanation, "I'll be back by Light." Then he disappeared into the Dark. Castiel turned his attention toward Dean and pulled the canister of water from his pocket. He moved toward Dean and placed it in his hands, mesmerized as Dean brought it to his lips and drank. Cas watched as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down with each swallow and his eyes closed in pleasure as the water rushed down his throat. When he had finished, Dean offered it back to Castiel who stoppered it and placed it back in his pocket.

"We'll reach it tomorrow Cas." Dean said seriously, an intense look in his eyes. Castiel remained silent and Dean put an arm around the angel's shoulders, drawing him in close before pointing off into the distance. "It's just up the ridge. We'll make it out. I know it." Dean said with such conviction that Cas had to close his eyes to keep the pain away. Castiel turned his head and buried it into the crook of Dean's arm. He felt the human tense, but he could not find it within himself to care.

"Dean." He ground out and when Dean glanced down at him, Cas reached up and placed a hand on the side of his face. He stared into his eyes, committing all of Dean's features to memory because tomorrow was the day that Cas would lose all he had ever come to truly and unreservedly love. His eyes crystalized and burned and Dean's panicked expression said more than words ever could. Moving his hand behind Dean's neck, Castiel slowly brought him closer, meeting no resistance until their lips were only a hairsbreadth apart. It was then that Dean hesitated and Castiel knew it was more from a fear of what the action would come to mean than from the action itself. It was only an instant before Castiel found the courage within himself to close the scant distance and even less time for Dean to respond to him.

Dean's kiss was rushed and feverish, like he was expecting Cas to just vanish. Cas felt Dean open under him and their teeth clashed together as Dean tried to pull him deeper. Castiel responded in the like, because he could feel that this bruising force is what Dean needed and far be it from Castiel to deny Dean anything. If Dean wanted possession of this angel, he would surrender to him without question or hesitation. So when Dean forced him up against a tree and took Cas' mouth for his own, the angel met him willingly. Tongues tangled in fury as Dean ripped Cas' shirt from his pants and raked blunt nails down his torso. Cas arched into the punishing touch and bit down on Dean's bottom lip, receiving something of a growl in response to the rough treatment.

Castiel clutched at Dean's shoulders as the other man brought their bodies closer together, separating Cas' legs with one of his own, grinding their hips together, the pressure forcing unearthly sounds from Cas' lips. Cas leaned his head back and closed his eyes as Dean buried his face in his neck, licking at the skin and biting softly as his hands trailed up Cas' sides up to his shoulders. Castiel felt his head jerk forward and realized that Dean was pulling on his tie. He followed as Dean pulled, let himself be led down to the forest floor, Dean landing on his knees between Castiel's legs. He stripped off his shirt and Cas panted and shot his hands up to touch the soft skin and rippling muscles before Dean covered his body and claimed his lips anew.

The next few minutes passed in a blur. One moment he was kissing Dean, the next, he was naked lying upon his trench coat with nothing separating him from feeling all Dean had to offer. Dean's lips moved against languidly against his and it was all Castiel could do not to whine when Dean released him. Piercing green eyes met brightest blue as Dean asked without words for permission. In answer, Castiel placed his hand upon Dean's shoulder and craned his neck to dust a kiss over his lips. Dean nuzzled into his neck, bringing his hand up to set his fingers over Cas' lips. Castiel pressed a gentle kiss to the tips before slowly accepting each digit into his mouth. He stroked over Dean's fingers with his tongue feeling hot bursts of air on his neck as Dean ground their hips together.

At first, Castiel balked at the intrusion, but Dean shh'd against his lips and peppered kisses over his face and soon, Cas was pressing into him, biting his lip and whispering for more. Dean rose up and spat into his hand, coating his length with the saliva and rubbing his resurgent seed over himself for added lubricant. Dean locked eyes with Castiel as he hooked one of the angel's legs around his waist and pressed forward until he was fully seated within him. Cas tensed and cried out, protesting the pain, but relishing in it to, content in the knowledge that he could carry the feeling of this moment through his tribulations in Purgatory. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders as the man's forehead fell against his chest.

After, Castiel held Dean as he slept, and stared down at this beautiful man that he had taken as his own, the one that he had marked and the one that had claimed the angel in return. Dean retained an innocence in his sleep that Castiel was surprised to see in one so tortured and Castiel smiled to see it. There was hope yet.

**Letting go is always the hardest part.** Castiel had heard this said once, many years ago, but he had not fully grasped the concept of it until now. Castiel found that no matter how hard he tried, he was unable to let Dean go. The Leviathans were closing in and Castiel, for the life of him, could not tell Dean to leave him and run. So he pushed him instead. Dean had Castiel's wrist clasped in his hand and was yelling at him to try, please try to crawl up the rocky slope and enter the portal with him. Looking and drowning in Dean's green eyes Cas saw the fear, the agonizing pain of someone who knew that they were about to lose everything. He saw his own eyes mirrored within Dean's gaze and tore his hand away.

"Go!" he yelled as the portal began to consume Dean. The look of utter disbelief crossed over Dean's face as he was swallowed up and Cas stared at the spot Dean had disappeared from and felt a solitary tear streak down his cheek. Rock exploded around him and Castiel turned, a knife Dean had stolen wrapped tightly in his clenched fist. The Leviathans circled. He was ready.

**AN: So, it's Supernatural Wednesday and since I can't watch the new episode until tomorrow (bummer), I have to content myself with just writing about it I guess. I posted a new chapter in my multi-chapter fic All's Fair in Love and Football (check it out if you haven't!) and this one-shot. I've been a very busy girl! **** Thanks bunches for reading. There may be a sequel to this, I just haven't decided yet. Thanks again and as always, please review! I wish I could give out cookies to everyone who reads my stuff. Even if you don't like it. Just to say thanks for taking a chance. Here are your virtual cookies world. *hands you cookies* enjoy! ^_^ **


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